Chapter 4: Charlie

“Charlie!”

“Sawyer!”

Claire and Kate came quickly down the beach towards the two men.

Sawyer saw Claire and immediately turned away from the pair. She was holding Aaron, and she looked confused and angry. He couldn’t possibly tell her what he needed to. Judging by the way she was concerned for Charlie, she wouldn’t accept what he had to say to her. She had gone over to him and was inspecting his face the best she could with a squirming toddler in her arms.

“Sawyer, what’s going on?” Kate had approached Sawyer as Claire had approached Charlie, but instead of comforting and caring, she was accusing and annoyed.

“Nothin’,” Sawyer said in a gruff whisper as he made eye contact with Charlie over her shoulder.

“No, this isn’t nothing.” Claire’s voice was louder than normal, and everyone’s eyes went to the young mother as she seemed to swell to match her volume. “Something is going on here and I want to know.” Her voice cracked noticeably on the last word, and her face rippled with emotion, but only briefly.

She hadn’t taken her eyes off of Sawyer. It was clear that she wanted her answer from him.

“Claire…” Sawyer took a small step towards the blonde and away from Kate. Everyone was startled by his use of her real name, but even more so by the personal tone he took it with.

The two stared each other in the face, and the rest of the world seemed to slowly fade out, as though someone had put it on mute.

“Claire, you don’t…” Sawyer felt a gut-wrenching surge of guilt when a single tear slowly rolled down her cheek.

“Please.” Claire was on the brink of breaking down, and could barely get the simple word past her lips.

Sawyer looked in her eyes for a minute, and everything he’d heard the past few hours replayed in his mind. He thought about Sayid’s guilt, Locke’s anger and his own varied emotions. He thought about the harmless woman standing in front of him and the innocent child on her hip.

“I can’t tell you, I’m sorry.” Sawyer’s voice was just loud enough for her to hear him, a low and private murmur. He turned away from her, his eyes toward the ground.

The world came slowly sliding back into focus as Kate and Charlie stirred back into the scene. Charlie was relieved at Sawyer’s silence, and Kate stood back, confused.

“You’re a coward.”

Sawyer looked back up as Claire raised her voice beyond normal speaking level.

“I don’t know what you’re afraid of. I don’t even really know what I’m asking you.” Claire had lost her hold on her emotions, the tears rolling freely down her cheeks to fall from her chin. She stopped for a second to catch her breath.

“But I’m asking you to please just tell me.” Her blue eyes met his again, and the clarity in them, the obvious hurt, broke something in Sawyer. He could stop this right now, keep it from spiraling out of hand. He could do this one thing and be, just this once, the good guy.

“Alright,” he breathed out slowly and took a step towards Claire. She held eye contact and her ground.

“I…” Sawyer began, but didn’t know how to continue. How could he tell her that the life she was building was balanced on a lie? That someone she trusted this much had betrayed her again?

“I… I don’t really know how to say this, but, uh, those… those Virgin Mary statues that Charlie’s been carrying around?”

He was poised to continue, but Charlie was poised to attack. He came up closer to Claire and started protesting.

“He’s lying. That’s all he ever does anyway. Don’t listen to him. I don’t even know what he’s talking about.” But Claire either wasn’t listening or just didn’t hear him. She kept looking at Sawyer, and knew he wasn’t going to lie to her. She didn’t know how she knew, but something in his eyes said he was done lying.

“Claire, they ain’t just statues.” Sawyer went on, too far in now to take it back. “They’re hollow, and somebody filled ‘em with heroin. I think… I think he’s using again.”

Claire’s eyes darkened, her lip quivered, and her stance deflated. She turned to Charlie, and asked, “Is he right?”

Charlie paused for a second, and looked to Sawyer before he answered, “Of course not, I wouldn’t do something like, like that, not something that could hurt you and Aaron.” Claire had seen his moment of hesitation, and the panic in his face as he talked to her. It was an evident lie. She shrank back further, and brought the baby in tight to her chest. The tears fell faster from her wide eyes.

“You’re lying.” Her voice was barely audible, and the color was rising in her face. She started backing away from Charlie, and repeated herself, but she was shouting now. Charlie started following Claire, protesting his innocence, but Kate stepped between them, keeping him back as Claire started back towards her tent.

Sawyer felt frozen to the spot. He said nothing as he watched his words tear apart another happy family.